Relationships

These Pixie readers had a problem and turned to us for help! Read on to see if you can benefit from some of the advice as well!

My crush is a complete goofball around me and I'm great at talking to him. Does he like me??? P.S. I think he likes my best friend who has a boyfriend.

If you’re getting signals that he likes your best friend, he probably does, at least a little ...and that would make things pretty confusing! You deserve to be someone’s first choice, not the person they go out with because their first choice is already taken!
xoxo, Pixie

Hi,
My friend and I have been friends since pre-k or kindergarten, but now that we're in middle school, I am starting to have other feelings for him. I don't know if he feels the same way. We text each other ALL the time, and we've been talking on the phone almost every night. When we are on the phone we'll talk for hours, until our parents make us get off the phone. He comes over a lot and when he's here I dont feel awkward, I feel good. I think I really have strong feelings for him. What shoud I do? Help?
M

Hey M,
It sounds like you guys have a fantastic friendship, and see each other all the time. Why change it now? The problem with turning a friendship into something else is that if it doesn't work out, it's hard to go back to being friends the same way — someone's feelings get hurt, it's awkward, etc. Wait for him to bring it up, and if you decide to be more than friends, take it slow!
xoxo, Pixie

I like a boy in my class, of course. He has given me some pretty obvious signs that he might like me but I still don't know. Having a boyfriend in my school is very weird (because it's a small private school) and so I don't know if I should even be trying in the first place. Some advice, please.
shouldilove

Hey Shouldilove,
It sounds like he does like you...but we can't tell if you like him! You shouldn't go out with a guy just because he likes you, and you're smart to be careful about having a boyfriend in a small school. Sounds like it would be better to wait and get to know him better before you do anything because if you go out with him and decide you don't like him, things will be very awkward!
Love, Pixie

Hey Pixie,
My best friend is a guy, and when we move away from all the rest of the class to hang out, we're automatically "flirting" though I don't see it that way, I did once have a crush on him. Is it true? Is he flirting? Or should I ignore everyone else?

Sure sounds like it to us! If he treats you differently than he treats other girls, he’s interested. But try to find out if he flirts with other girls, too, when he’s alone with them. Some guys (and girls!) have fun a “flirt” personality and even though it means they like you, it may not mean they like you!

Hi Pixie,
So last year this boy named Jackson that I really like told me that he liked me. We hung out a lot too. But right before winter break this one dude asked me if I liked Jackson and I said no because I didn't want anyone to know. Then the dude went and told Jackson that I hated him. So after we got back from winter break he has been avoiding me. I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no. What should I do?

Jackson's embarrassed and hurt that you told someone you didn't like him. Of course he's mad! Try being honest with him. Tell him you made a mistake, and hope he understands that you were put on the spot and said the wrong thing. Everyone makes mistakes!
XOXO, Pixie

Hi Pixie,
There's this boy that I knew last year. Yesterday I got a text from him saying he's been thinking about me. After a few more texts he asked me out. I haven't seen this guy since last year. We don't even go to the same school! I don't know if I should say yes or no! Please help!
Thanks,K

Hey K,
If you don't feel comfortable going out with him, then don't. Just say you don't think it's a good idea to go out with someone from a different school. Or you could say your mom won't let you - which would be the truth, since she really wouldn't want you to go out with someone you don't like! If you are interested in checking him out, keep it friendly, not flirty. Make a date to meet somewhere your friends will be, like a local pizza place, so you can be with a group. That way, you'll have fun no matter what happens!
xoxo, Pixie

Hey Pixie,
After school on Thursday two of my friends came up to me and told me the guy I like was going to ask me out and after say just kidding to make me mad. What should I do because I really like him? My friends told me to say no but I think if I say yes he could be mean and playing a joke. I've never had a guy play a mean joke on me like that or anyone ask me out. Please help!
From, A

Hey A,
The guy has probably already given signs if he likes you. Does he treat you differently than he treats other girls? Pay more attention to you? Do you catch him looking at you? If so, he probably is interested, and if you want to go out with him, you should say yes. But if you haven't noticed any of that behavior, hold off. If you're worried that he will play a joke on you, it will take all the fun out of it anyway. It sounds like your friends are playing games, so don't take their advice right now!
Love, Pixie

Hi Pixie,
Hey! I really need your help fast! I have a couple friends who all hate me. One of them is mad at me for some reason and won't talk to me. I can hear her talking about me at lunch saying how ugly i am and stuff like that. Then one day i heard her saying to my other friends that I was talking about them behind their backs! She said i called them all ugly and stupid so then everybody hated me for that. One day i decide to fix what was wrong and sit with the other girls, T, A, B, and S. They let me sit with them but B and D wouldn't come over. They said i was too ugly to be sat with. I talked to the other girls and i told them that i hadn't been talking about them and that the girl who told them that was lying. Miraculously, they believed me and said they weren't going to hang out with those two girls anymore. That is all sorted through. But then during 5 period B threatened me. i was scowling at the person behind her and she said do that again and see what happens. I said what are you going to do if i do? She said i'll beat you up after school. I got scared and was going to tell the principal but i had a shadow so i didn't want to make her day bad. Pixie what should i do? Not just about the threatening part but about everything?
Thanks K

Hey K,
Sounds like you have done a really good job handling everything so far: you sat down with most of your friends and talked about the problem. That took intelligence and courage. Unfortunately while that worked for most of your friends, B and D sound like the kind of bullies that need more than common sense and courtesy to straighten out. If you are threatened, you need to go to an adult at your school and have them help you deal with it: a teacher, guidance counselor or the principal. Stay calm, stay honest and ignore insults (remember, insults usually come from people who are insecure and jealous - not worth your time worrying about). Avoid the drama and they'll move on.
Love, Pixie

Hi Pixie,
You can help me right? Well I have this guy I really like and at first I thought he liked me too, because he would want me to come over and hang out and then he just stopped and didnt want anything to do with me. Now when ever I go by his house or want to talk to him he is a jerk and tells me to stop stalking him. Then sometimes he likes me again. Oh! did I mention that he is 2 years younger?
-W-

Hey W,
This guy is totally immature, not to mention confused! You never know why a guy loses interest, and there's no point wasting time finding out. Move on! Some guys are scared by girls that like them. That's especially true of younger guys — he might like you, but just not be as ready as he thought he was for a relationship. Hold out for someone who treats you better.
Love, Pixie

Hey Pixie,
Can you help me? One of my good friends has a huge crush on me, and we've known each other for our whole lives. It's really awkward, because I don't like him at all. He was kind of pushing himself on me, and I told him to stop and he did, but now he won't talk to me AT ALL! And also I think I might like one of my best friend's brothers, but I don't know, so THAT sucks.

First of all, good for you for telling him to stop pushing himself on you. It's important for girls not to put up with attention they don't want. Be kind, but be firm! As for what to do now, remember he's hurt. Give him some time to get over the embarrassment of being rejected. It's not easy when someone you like doesn't like you back! As for your best friend's brother, hold off on doing anything right now because 1) you're not sure how you feel yet, 2) letting people know you like someone else will only hurt your good friend's feelings even more, and 3) if it doesn't work out with your bff's brother, it could get awkward between the two of you!
XOXO, Pixie

Hi Pixie,
I have a friend, N, and we have been friends for like 4 years now. It's a guy, and we used to spend so much time together, but then I moved. What you don't know is that I like N, but he doesn't know that. I've talked to all my friends about how much I miss him, and all of them have told me that I've been hiding my love for him for too long. They all think I should tell him that I like him. The only thing about that is that a few months ago, my friend, C, told him that I liked him and I had to lie about it and say I don't like him to cover it up. I'm afraid if I tell him now that we will have an awkward friendship if he doesn't like me and that he might be mad at me because I lied to him about it before, even though N said he trusted me. If he does like me though, which all my friends think is true because me and N have so much in common and so much history, we might be able to be together. But I don't know. Any ideas on what I should do, Pixie?
-G

Hey G,
You probably don't have to worry about lying to N about liking him — that's understandable, and if he likes you it shouldn't matter. What you are right to be concerned about is hurting a really nice friendship by telling N you like him. If he doesn't like you the same way, that would be awkward. Don't tell him you like him because you friends are urging you to — they mean well, but follow your own instincts. You could playfully let N know that you had (not have) a crush on him, and see how he reacts. If he laughs it off, leave it at that. If he admits he liked you too, a more serious conversation could follow about how you feel now. But that being said, while it's fine having a friend who lives far away, it's not so fun having a BF living far away! If you won't get a chance to see him anyway, it might be better to just stay friends, but keep in touch. You never know, you could end up at the same college!

Dear Pixie,
Lately I have been so depressed because I really like someone. It's Christmas break and my phone's been missing since the 6th of December. I got a new phone and I have been texting this someone a lot. But during this time without my phone I have been talking to my friend M on email. We have been talking about G (the someone) a lot. She likes G and I like G so usually we get into a very personal conversation and at some point I let it slip that I was in love with G. For the past 3 months, G and I have been getting to know each other because I was trying to be matchmaker for G and M. I found out recently that what I know about G isn't true. The lie was that he liked M. He doesn't like her at all. So I told him I loved him and he said he didn't like anybody. G swore me to secrecy so I wouldn't tell M G didn't like her because it would break her heart. I feel so confused. What should I do?
Emotionally compromised,
E

E,
Whew! You've got a lot to deal with. You don't want to break your promise to G, but you also don't want M to keep thinking he likes her if he doesn't. It sounds like both you and M would be better off staying away from G since he doesn't like anyone. First, tell M that you have to give up trying to fix her up with G because you're not getting anywhere. You don't have to tell her what he said, but you don't have to be part of a lie, either, by continuing to be a go-between. Try to get her to think about other cute guys, and at least consider the possibility that there are lots of other people out there for both of you (because there are!).
Pixie

Dear Pixie,
I need help. My best guy friend is in love with me, even though I used to like him when he didn't like me. I don't know what to do! But I think I still have feelings for this guy...but I don't know how to tell him. I need advice! Help!

Life would be so much less complicated if people always liked each other at the same time! It doesn't work that way, though, but it sounds like you're pretty lucky that you have a good friend who likes you, and you like him back. But what's the hurry? If you just "think" you still have feelings for him, don't rush it because it turns out you're wrong, you could ruin a really nice friendship. Just spend time together casually, and when he lets you know how he feels, it'll just take a sweet smile to let him know you like him, too! Just always remember that friendship is the most important, lasting relationship, so treat it like the treasure it is!
Pixie

Hey Pixie,
I have a boyfriend and my bff tells me that I should break up with him. My friend used to like him, and when I ask her if she still does she says she does not any more. She told me that he flirts with her all the time. She does not know how much I like him. What should I do?
T

Hey T,
On the one hand, friends can give important information, telling you about things you don't want to see for yourself. In this case, if your boyfriend is flirting with your bff so much that it makes her uncomfortable, that is not okay! But try to make sure what you're hearing is accurate, especially if you think your bff still has a thing for your boyfriend. Have other friends seen him flirting too much? If so, it's time to say goodbye, no matter how much you like him. You can do better! If not, and if he treats you with respect, and shows you that he likes you as much as you like him by being nice to you and to your friends and your family, then try having a talk with your bff and get specifics about his flirting. If your boyfriend cares about you, he won't do something that upsets you.
Pixie

Dear Pixie,
I'm in LOVE...but with my best friend. We have been best friends since fifth grade and we tell each other everything. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me...except that I like him. I started liking him since the moment I met him, and he's never suspected a thing. UNTIL my best friend told him that I like him and showed him a private email that I had sent to her saying that I like him. So since it got awkward, I lied and told him that what she said was a lie and to not believe her, and he said OK, I believe you. When I tell all my friends about this they all say that we are meant to be together. Another problem/reason we can't be together is that he lives half way around the world, IN CHINA. IN CHINA! But the good part about that is that he is from New Hampshire, and when he comes to the U.S. to visit his family, I usually get to see him. Well, if you have any kind of advice to give me that would be great because I'M STUCK.

Hey,
Sounds like you have a really sweet friendship, why risk it right now? There's plenty of time for a "meant to be" couple to be together. Plus, it is really hard having a BF who lives so far away! Pixie suggests keeping things the way they are, at least until he lives somewhere closer!
Love,
Pixie
 

Hey Pixie,
My friend, A, is dating our neighbor, S, and A wants to break up but she's afraid that they can't be friends anymore. A's been depressed about it lately, please help!
J

Hey J,
If you want to break up with someone, do it as quickly and kindly as possible. It's not fun news to hear, so your friend shouldn't expect to be pals the day after the breakup. But if she treats S with respect (don't let him be the last to know about it, that's so embarrassing!), and is patient, he should come around.
Love,
Pixie

Hey Pixie,
I was wondering what I should do... there's this guy that I like and he is in the grade below me but I kinda think he likes me but I am not sure. I don't want to ask him just in case he doesn't like me in that way back. HELP!!!
Signed,
T

Hey T,
You're smart not to ask if he likes you — it would be awkward if he didn't, but even if he does, he might feel too shy to admit it! Does he treat you differently than he treats other girls? Smile when he sees you? If so, it's very possible he likes you, but instead of rushing anything, smile back and enjoy the attention. At some point you'll be more certain about how he feels, and if he needs a nudge, you could have one of your friends ask one of his friends what's up. Good luck!
Xoxo,
Pixie

Hi Pixie, I really need your help!
I met this boy in a summer theater camp and he is the cutest thing in the world. I mean the first time I saw him it was like love at first sight. We had so much in common. we would talk everyday while walking to the park. And instead of talking to his friends he would talk to me. Soon I started to feel butterflies in my stomach every time I thought of him. After summer camp I found him on Facebook and at first I would talk to him everyday but at the end of September our conversations were done and the days would go by without a trace of him sending me a message. One day I went to his profile and saw that he was in a relationship with this girl. I was devastated. But I asked him to a movie and he said he might go. It's not a date because all our friends from camp are coming. Should I tell him how I feel?

Hey,
One of the hardest things about a relationship, whether it's a friendship or something more, is when one person's feelings change and the other person's don't. It's hard to understand how you can really care about someone, and they don't feel the same way they once did. It doesn't seem fair! But even if it hurts for a little while, it's okay — it's just part of growing up. It has nothing to do with you; your timing is just different than his. It sounds like he has moved on, and you should too. You are obviously a smart, caring person and any guy would be lucky to have you! Try to focus on your friends, schoolwork, hobbies, sports — all the things that you care about that make you special. Pretty soon he'll just be a happy memory!
Pixie

Hey,
Hey, my friend and I've been friends since PRE-K!!! I told her my secrets and the guy I like ALL of my secrets!!! WHAT IN THE WORLD SHOULD I DO???????
N, Atlanta

Hey N,
Everyone has secrets, right? And sometimes it's hard to keep them inside! Obviously you learned the hard way that if you really don't want anyone to know something, it's better to just tell people you know you can trust, like your mom or an older sister. But for now, try to relax about telling your friends your secrets — what seems really important or embarrassing to you isn't as big a deal to them, because they have their own secrets to worry about! If you get too anxious about the situation, try talking to an adult, like your guidance counselor. And remember that no matter what happens, situations blow over very quickly if you keep your head up and move on.
Love,
Pixie

Hey Pixie,
My ex-boyfriend is dating all of my other friends to make me jealous and it's working. I want to tell him that I still like him but I don't know how. How am I supposed to tell him without being embarrassed????????
A

Hey A,
The problem with jealousy, as you are finding out, is that it can make you attracted to someone just because you don't have him ... and that's not a good reason to like someone. Treating you well, having a good sense of humor, being nice to your friends, those are all good reasons to like someone. But dating your friends to make you jealous is not! It sounds to Pixie like he's acting like a jerk, using your friends to make you feel bad (which isn't nice to you or your friends). Pixie's recommendation: forget him and move on!
Love,
Pixie

Hey Pixie,
My friend and I just met this year at school, but now just because I told a secret that my friend I told already knew, even though I told that friend she's still friends with the one that hates me. I try to talk at lunch with her but my friends have to bribe her with food so she could talk to me. When I try to explain my side of the story she just ignores me and starts talking to someone else! What should I do to get her to talk to me? I've already tried letting her cool off but still she doesn't talk to me!!! What should I do!?
A

Hey A,
You were smart to give your friend a cooling off period. If you also offered a sincere apology, there's not much else you can do. It sounds like she's getting a lot of attention by ignoring you (being bribed with food? So immature!) She'll probably stretch out the drama as long as she can, so the best thing might be to just act like you don't care anymore. Be nice, but don't feed into the silly games she's playing.
Love,
Pixie

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